Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Seriously, I was never this oblivious

I don't understand this. Pardon my hubris, but I'm a decently intelligent person (enough so that I just intentionally misused the word "hubris" for the sake of humorous over-statement) and I've got a respectable track record for understanding things and people. Yet this remains out of the realm of my comprehension.

Lots of the doors around here are locked, this being a school and all, and students are obliged to wait for a teacher with a key to key to get into those doors. I am one such teacher, so I daily find myself shoving between a middle schooler and a door and unlocking said door. Here's what I don't get:

A) That I am consistently required to shove between the child and the door. Not only do they not seem to realize the physical impossibility of two objects simultaneously occupying a given space, but my saying "Excuse me" or "Hey, back up" does not recall this fact to their minds.

B) That as soon as the door peeks open, while my hand is still on the key and the key is still in the door, effectively tethering me to the door, 9 out of 10 children will take over and pull the door open, yanking my arm almost out of its socket, and then attempt to walk through my arm to get inside. Again, they don't seem to be aware of the solid material status of our respective corporal natures. That, or they want to play red rover against my humerus and radius/ulna.

Seriously, kids?

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

With all due respect to our Holy Mother (and then some), I think a new example of theophany is long overdue.

Anonymous said...

you have to forgive them, Physics is not taught until late high school, if at all, for most of them so they probably don't grasp those concepts yet

In more seriousness, I have the exact same problem with the middle schoolers I sub for. They have no qualms about being late for class or asking to go to the bathroom/locker/drug deal/nurse immediately after entering, but yet they always seem to congregate right there like they're SO anxious to get in and learn (ha!). I've taken to playacting Moses and literally standing behind them all and parting my arms and maintaining that division until I am safely in said room. I got a few awkward stares at first but it's caught on now ;)