I Crack Me Up

Part of my job is teaching vocabulary. My high schoolers used exactly the same series of books, with twenty words per unit, and we tested once a week. I give my middle schoolers two weeks to learn the unit -- plenty of time. Being middle schoolers, however, they are not remotely inclined to put forth the effort. They would rather do ten words every week and forget them as soon as the test is over. Nay, say I, they can do better than that. As a result of my hard-line policies, there's a lot of, "Miiiiiiiiss, it's too haaaaaaaard", which I simultaneously find sad in their lack of confidence, and so whiny and obnoxious I could spork out either my ears or their voice boxes.

Anyway, I sent a letter home with them today. This is how it starts:

Esteemed Lexicon Initiates,

I’ve become cognizant of the trepidation manifold of you, my pupils, are grappling with apropos methods of augmenting your vocabulary. Despite your doubts about your abilities, I really believe you are all fully capable of learning a whole unit in two weeks. You need only think you can do it, put forth the effort, and apply some new strategies to your study of the words. You can totally handle this!

Sr Rosann has to approve all communications before they go home. She brought this back to my room laughing. "This is cute," she said. You're darn right it's cute, Sister. Like I'm new at this. Being cute, I mean.