Sunday, August 12, 2007

Fledgling; or Heartstrings, pt. 2

"Fledgling" is probably not actually be the best analogy for where I am in my life right now. After all, I'm twenty-two, which doesn't make me a sage, but I'm old enough for this. I've been through a solid four years of college that included frequent travels across the country and more responsibility and experience than is probably average. Practically, I'm all set.

But, when did practically have anything to do with it?

Sure, it's been four years since I really lived at home. I haven't even had a room most of that time. Still, part of the lure of the University of Delaware was that it was close to home. When my family got moved to Maryland rather than California or Germany, I must confess, I was selfishly thrilled. I opted not to work this summer, when I will not be earning money for at least the next ten months, because I wouldn't have been able to spend as much time with my family as I did. Alright, fine, I'm a little obsessed. That's justifiable, I think, because after all the years of moving and upheaval, "home" stopped being a place a long time ago. It is, instead, my family.

Anyway, my point here is that I'm not exactly skipping off into freedom. Moving forward, yes; willingly and gladly, yes. I'm not hopelessly dependent, not scared of being on my own, but rather the converse: I simply will not enjoy being away from my family. It's probably that look over my shoulder that makes me feel "fledgling".

Very nearly nothing in the world brings me more joy this.

And I already kind of feel like this.


Anyway, I'm off, taking way too much stuff with me and leaving what I'd really like to take behind. This coming week, on top of me settling in, is in-service, so I don't know how much time I'll have for updating. Until next time, dear readers.
*Heartstrings, pt 1, if you're interested.

1 comment:

julie said...

Although you've been away for more than 18 hours in the past...this feels more permanent and, therefore, I don't like it. Give up the job and just come home. :)

I love you and MISS you.
Mama