Monday, March 12, 2007

Being "Old"

I turn 22 today.

I've been saying that 22 seems like a bigger deal than 21. Twenty-one is significant primarily in that from that day on, one can drink to oblivion legally. Drunkenness has never really held much allure for me, and I didn't drink on a regular ("regular" meaning a drink a couple times a month) basis until well after my 21st.

Twenty-two, on the other hand, is not nearly as exciting at 21, but is instead kind of dully frightening. To my mind, 22 comes at you wearing a business suit and a stern look and says, "Ok, for real, get it together," while 21 stands next to me wearing flip flops and a graphic t-shirt, looking bewildered. "Get what together? Are we going on a road trip?"

Sorry, 21. Not really.

I'm not upset or bothered by this in the least. It's more like sucking it up and reluctantly trying my hand at the wheel. It's true: I do need to get "it" together, whatever "it" is, and sooner rather than later. There's no need to plot the next twenty years of my life, not even the next five, but I feel having a pretty solid lead on where I'll physically be for the next one or two years would be a good thing. Actually, I'd like to amend -- maybe even strike -- my previous statement about timidly trying the wheel. That's not true at all, quite the contrary. I'm actually elated to be taking my whole life on a road trip, the kind with a destination but not a route in mind. I'll say this, to my own credit: I think in having a destination in mind, I have "it" a lot more together than many of my 22 year old peers.

The next step might be getting 21 and 22 to reach a compromise. 21, be a little more grounded. 22, get out of the suit.

The next step may also come out and surprise me. I know I'm really absurdly young (just old enough to think I know something, but smart enough to know I don't), but in my short time I have learned this much: God always has plans, and He never ever tells us what they are until He feels like it; often, only after they've pretty well unfolded already. So, we'll see where year 23 finds me -- probably just where I ought to be.


My aunts and me, about 21 years ago. (Right, Daddy?)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I think you are remarkably together for a person your age. I mean, I'm a full seven years older than you...and I still don't have it all figured out. ;)

Love you very much,
Mama