Friday, May 28, 2010

The Miss List - Edited

(Originally posted May 12.  Updated now and again until the end of the school year. New items in bold.)

In the weeks since I officially decided to take this job at Notre Dame and knew, therefor, that I would not be teaching next year, there has naturally been at least one incident everyday that makes me wonder why in the world I am leaving the classroom.

There has also been at least one moment everyday when I think, "I will not miss that at all."

I think I am actually rather grateful for this, because without the occasional thought to the elements of my profession with which I am not, shall we say, enamored, I would be a blubbering mass of tears and snot at the thought of leaving.  At the same time, if I were to leave teaching and be really gleeful about it, it would cast a depressing light on these last three years (or more, depending how you count), and I don't think they'd want me where I'm going, either.

So it's all about balance here.  As always.  I am the queen of balance.

Thus, below is a list of both "Things I Will NOT Miss" and "Things I Will Miss".  I intend to update this post whenever these things occur to me.  Of course, we all know my posting track record.  My intentions and actions almost never match up.

Things I Will NOT Miss
  1. Eye rolling
  2. 500 reasons a day to give them The Look.
  3. Eau de After PE Class
  4. Finding the work I just assigned.  On the floor. Without a name.
  5. Being asked, "Ma'am, do you believe in aliens?  It's in the Bible," in the middle of a vocab quiz
  6. Having eight kids all yelling my name at the same time and all expecting my full attention right that moment.
  7. Having seven kids simultaneously become unbearably indignant because I paid attention to someone else.
  8. Writing finals
  9. Grading anything.  Especially finals.  Ugh.
  10. And grading late work.
  11. And grading.
  12. Did I mention grading?

Things I WILL Miss
  1. The "I Get It!" look!
  2. Giving them The Look.
  3. The look on their faces when I give them The Look
  4. Being asked, "Ma'am, do you believe in aliens?  It's in the Bible," in the middle of a vocab quiz
  5. The chorus of voices that responds in perfectly trained harmony of cadence when I say, "Good morning, 7th grade!" ("Gooood mOOOOOrning Miiiiss-Ciiiiis-neee-roooooos!")
  6. The (rare) moment when pandemonium breaks out in class because they're excited about something.
  7. Telling a senior who went to my school years ago and who I did a mission trip with that he should turn down MIT for ND, and Penn is a good third choice.
  8. Pretending I knew the Yankees had won before Jose walks in the door high-fiving me.
  9. Having an excuse to get nerdily excited about a poem (I'm trying to get them excited... really...). 
  10. Looking at a kid in May, remembering how the same kid was in August, and being struck speechless by how proud I am of said kid for coming so far.
  11. Guillermo yelling, "Ma'am, I love you!" every time he leaves my class or sees me in the hall.
  12. Kids coming up to me after they finish a book I recommended and saying, "Ma'am, you were right, that book was so great!"
  13. Realizing after the fact they enjoyed and connected with an activity I thought at the time was a disaster.
  14. Field trips and seeing the kids in a different context.
  15. Messing with their heads (Example: "You'll be fine.  Unless of course you fail."  "Yh-- Wait, what?"  "What?"  "Ma'am, what did you say?!"  "George Washington.")


Siné said...

I definitely do not miss the "Eau de After PE Class". I shudder just thinking about it.

Tony said...

I'm glad the "Ma'am, do you believe in aliens" item made it on both lists ;-)

Tony said...

All the grading comments reminded me of some recent web-comics about TA grading...but it's the same idea:

Andie said...

Tony: Yes! The spectrum of frustration and futility between blank responses and nonsense causes every teacher I know to behave in totally bizarre, irrational ways, up to and including rage black outs and the desire to burn things.