Little White Lies and the Amazing Technicolor Eyelid

last night

this afternoon
(note the purple, blue, and red around my eye)

Let me just say upfront, I'm fine. My pride sustained far worse injuries than anything else did in this incident. I write tonight, aside from the interesting study of mild swelling turned to multi-colored lids, is to give you a word of warning:

Avoid, at all costs, any kind of visible injury if there is any chance you will be seeing middle schoolers at any point and in any context while said injury is healing.

It's been a humbling day. Comments I got:

• "What happened?!" (that was from a coworker)
  
• "Ma'am, what happened to your face?!"
• "You look like Popeye."
• (slack jawed look of disgust)
• "Ma'am, just let me know who I need to beat up and I got 'im."
• "Holy crap, are you okay??"
• "Ha ha ha ha ha! Uh, I mean... (chuckle) Sorry. Ma'am are you (snicker) alright?"
• "Eeewwwwwww."
• "Listen, you don't need to be in that relationship. Just break up with him, you don't need him."

...And of course, everyone wants to know what happened. I change the story every time.

• Raccoons.
• Badgers.
• I saved a baby from a run-away horse.
• I was trying to build a tree house and it fell down on me.
• You should see the other guy.
  
• Ninjas.
• Pirates.
• Ninja badgers.
• Pirate raccoons.